Stupid Things Men Say

Unfortunately, when I say "Men" the person I'm referring to is my husband.  Apparently, he has a secret  medical condition that causes him to say stupid things when he is nervous.  I have found there is no way to stop this from happening until he is in mid sentence.  This is when he can usually be stifled by a "look". Not just any look  by a random person. Those looks don't even seem to phase him.  The very special look usually has to come from ME.  You know…the one that makes me look equally stupid because by the time he starts to catch on my eyes are bugged out like a Gremlin. I've heard him shout out stupid when talking to friends, in doctor's offices, or the occasional school meeting.  Those moments can typically be saved quickly but, yesterday he spewed stupid at a whole new level. … [Read more...]

We REFUSE To Be Ignored

I wanted to share with you all the public comment I submitted to the IACC. (Interagency Autism Coordinating Committee) Unfortunately, this lazy group doesn't have a clue. We need to change that. I will be in their face at the next meeting held at the National Institute of Health. I plan on stepping it up a notch for the comment I will submit in person but, here's what I have done so far. ............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ Dear IACC Committee Members, My name is Nikki T****.  I am the Mother to 3 beautiful children ages 17, 12, & 11. I’m also previously a patient … [Read more...]

“This is Not Something You EVER Forget”

Like most of you our house is busy wrapping up summer & running around crazy trying to snag up the last package of manilla paper in town.  I thought I was finally free from the manilla paper monster until somehow it made a surprise return on my sons JUNIOR HIGH supply list!  JUNIOR HIGH people...C'mon!  How many triangles are they going to color orange to cut & paste into the shape of a pumpkin?!  ZILCH. Anyway, I was sitting here reflecting on my first summer as a stay at home mom with the kids.  Now that my kids are a little older I couldn't wait for summer to start so we could have a little fun together while soaking up some sun. I imagined finally being to take them to the pool, or maybe even a water park. Only that's not really how this summer went down.  We did make it to … [Read more...]

What Is PANDAS?

P.A.N.D.A.S Pediatric Autoimmune Neuropsychiatric Disorders Associated with Streptococcal Infections Formerly Called: Pediatric Infection Triggered Autoimmune Neuropsychiatric Disorders (I like former name better.) What that means is that some of those very common infections our children bring home from school can trigger some out of character behaviors in our children. Influenza Strep Throat Ear Infections Chicken Pox Scarlet Fever Sinus Infections Lyme Disease Walking Pneumonia It's claimed to be a "RARE" illness and that many Doctor's have never seen it but, I have a tiny little feeling that most Doctor's haven't seen it because they are too busy shoving a Stimulant medication in your face to even think about ordering a diagnostic workup. It's a failure of the immune … [Read more...]

Wake the F*CK Up!

Some of you may remember back in March I shared a story with you about a boy named Alex.  I asked for everyone's help in doing whatever they could to see that Alex received the medical treatment he deserved because he was being "Abused & Neglected by the World's Most Overtrusted."  OUR MEDICAL SYSTEM.  At that point Alex laid in Loyola Hospital's ER for 19 days NAKED strapped to the bed posts by 4 point leather restraints.  Being non verbal and experiencing severe pain from GI issues he was trying everything he could to make his voice heard that he needed help. Thousands of people from inside & out of the very large Autism community of 1 in 50 that I am a part of made every effort to try to stop the abuse & hell Alex was enduring and see to it he received the medical … [Read more...]

Teen Driving Drama

It's been so long since I've written a "Teen Drama" post that I feel it's absolutely necessary to add a disclaimer here. The fact that it has been so long in NO way implies there hasn't been plenty of drama to share.  Thing 1 is 17.  She is a female.  Should I say more?  I didn't think so. Moving forward...  I have an story to share ( a true one of course ) I think some of you may find amusing.  I will try to keep this short and simple because I don't think it requires anything fancy.  If you are the parent of one or more teenager I hope you get a kick out of this.  I wish I could let you borrow that warm, fuzzy feeling I was so lucky to revisit when it happened but, I think that's only possible when a story like this is told about your own child. I try my very best to teach my … [Read more...]

My Audience Member History

I spent yesterday afternoon at Thing 3's school because she participated on the 4th grade Music performance.  You would think with so many of these programs under my belt it wouldn't be that big of a deal to me anymore.  That is (sort of) what I thought walking in the door.  If you've seen one you've seen them all....  In my defense, Thing 1 is 17, Thing 2 is 12, and Thing 3 is turning 11 this summer.  Trust me I have attended a wide variety of a TON of ceremonies, award shows, and programs.  I even seem to remember a few reruns here and there! When I really look back at how much cheer section practice I really have had it's hard to believe this one particular program could have had such a huge impact on me.  Just for fun's sake I had the kids help me compile a mini resume` of my … [Read more...]

Breaking the Silence for Autism Awareness

Okay, I'm sure most of you have either been wondering why I've been so quiet or, some have just given up on guessing and came to your own conclusion that I have finally had enough with this nonsense I call my life, threw in the towel on whatever self control I have left, and have been sharing a fancy sleeping space next to Big Bertha on Cell Block B...........  Not quite.  Not yet anyway!  I continue to shock even myself with this extremely high tolerance level for people pissing in my Cheerios that I never even knew had in me.  I'm rolling with the punches over here better than any professional Green Beret would.  I of course slapped some Rhinestones on the beanie but, I still dare anyone to challenge me here!   This new skill of mine was slowly acquired with every envelope I have torn … [Read more...]

A Little Chef’s Adventure with Family

A Little Chef’s Adventure with Family- Teaching Kids How to Cook in Italy If you wish to experience diversity with your kids and family, Italy is the place to be. While it takes more than a mere month’s vacation to truly explore everything that makes Italy so amazing, there are a few specific things that you just can’t miss. The best aspect about a family vacation in Italy is that it is just not the sightseeing. There are a number of activities that involve fun activities as well as learning. Teaching your kids to cook is one of them. Since Italy is one of the favorite destinations for epicures, you won’t have any difficulty finding an appropriate cooking school in Italy What parents must understand is that cooking is more than just a skill. Along with cooking, your kids might be able … [Read more...]

How to Recover Quickly From a Cold or the Flu

How to Recover Quickly From a Cold or the Flu Cold and flu season is in full swing, and with kids, it’s easy to get sick and stay sick for days. As a busy mom, it’s difficult to get enough sleep when your family is sick, which increases the likelihood that you will share in their illness. Since you don’t get a day off from taking care of your kids, recovering can also be an ordeal. Though no one has yet discovered the cure for the common cold, here are a few new helpful hints to help you recover quickly. Take Your Vitamins Ensure that your body has the proper nutrients it needs to heal itself and fight infection. If you don’t have a healthy diet on a regular basis, you’re more likely to have a harder time recovering. If you find it hard to fit in balanced meals when you’re not … [Read more...]

Easy Cookware for the Busy Family

Easy Cookware for the Busy Family One area of family life that moms and dads tend to struggle with the most is trying to think up new ideas for tasty home cooked meals that the whole family can enjoy while maintaining a busy household. With family members constantly coming and going and little ones adding to their list of food likes and dislikes almost daily, it would be nice to tick mealtimes off this list of stresses and strains. Procook have designed a range of cookware with the busy family in mind to help make mealtimes easier. The aim is to make cooking quicker, simpler, and cheaper so that families can still eat the meals they love but in a hassle free way. Here are some examples of the products Procook offer and the common mealtime problems that they are designed to … [Read more...]

Teaching “Generation Entitled” to Save a Dollar

As the Mother of three kids ages 10,12, and 17 I'll be the first to admit that teaching this Generation how and why it's important to save money has been similar to running through a jungle filled with Lion's that have been deprived of food for weeks.  It's a constant battle because these kids entire thought process seems to be a bit backwards.  Respecting the value of a dollar is a foreign thought that would never even cross their mind because they have no idea what it feels like to earn their money or materials by doing a little hard work. If you haven't reached this point in your parenting journey yet I caution you to buckle your seat belt as you enter the new world of "Generation Entitled". This entire Generation seems to think they should have everything handed to them the … [Read more...]

Neglected & Abused By the Worlds Most Overtrusted

How many of you would jump right up to help me if I said my child's life was in danger and there was something you could do to help?  I'm not talking about giving me your brain, or even any of your money.  I'm talking about needing a little bit of your time, and a lot of your heart.  Thank God I'm not the one needing the help for my daughter at this very moment but, if we don't do something now, in the very near future I could be. Just to remind everyone my family's personal medical nightmare has still not gone anywhere.  In fact, getting any type of treatment seems to be moving at a unusually slow pace.  After 10 years with virtually no answers it sure seems like we are so close to some type of treatment but, the all too familiar problem of finding someone who cares seems to stand in … [Read more...]

It’s Natural..It’s Safe..It’s a Conscious Box Giveaway!!

I've got  a giveaway for you guys! It's a 3-month Conscious Box subscription – worth $59! Conscious Box is a family owned and operated company that offers safe, organic, non toxic, and special diet friendly products that are delivered to your doorstep!  Mom's --- They have options for GFCFSF AND Organic....You definitely want to enter this one!!   a Rafflecopter giveaway Head to ConsciousBox.com and create a profile! This is totally free! When you check out their Facebook Page make sure you  leave a comment that heard about them from Dysfunctional Dose! Share this page with your friends so they can get it on the yummy goods too! Conscious Box is also offering Dysfunctional Dose readers a 50% OFF discount for any Conscious Box subscription. Use code: … [Read more...]

Something a Little Unexpected

    Today is the one day a year that is recognized as "National Rare Disease Day." Although I'm not really sure how rare some of these labeled "rare" diseases are anymore.  The numbers seem to be growing every day. Since I have personally stared the above quotes in the face of too many eyes filled with pity I thought maybe I should say something about this day.  I'm sure you will see a bunch of articles floating around today raising awareness about certain conditions and maybe even trying to raise some money for research.  Yes, these things are needed and very helpful but, I want to add one more thing for you to consider. I could very easily give a detailed education session on several different disorders but, instead today I'd like to give you a couple tips on how you can help a … [Read more...]

I Fought “Little Miss Monday”…..

The time is 9:36.  I am just now walking in the door from dropping my last child off at school.  Late. I tried to think of an excusable reason for the sign in sheets at the front office but, I got nothing here.  If I was being honest I would have wrote: REASON: Because the year is 2013 and I haven't slept since 1995. We obviously woke up before 9:30 but, I decided we woke up "late enough" to take our sweet ass time.  Thing 1 must've been thinking just like me because she came in my room at 6:55 to tell me her ride was running late and when the rest of us finally made it downstairs there was pancakes in the microwave for Thing 2 & 3!  That wasn't until 8:00........ My youngest starts school at 8:05. Screw it. (Even Tubbs who thinks it's acceptable to bark in my … [Read more...]

*Guest Post * How to Help Teach Your Children Responsibility

I hope you enjoy this guest post as much as I did...we were just talking about this exact topic over the weekend!  Well, you know..yelling...talking..same thing! ;) How to Help Teach Your Children Responsibility Hands-on activities are typically one of the best ways to teach your children lasting lessons that they will remember for the duration of their lives. As a caring parent, you know that beyond school, the real lessons kids learn at their most impressionable ages are lessons about character traits, such as honesty, kindness, selflessness, and responsibility. Learning these lessons doesn’t have to be boring -- in fact, it can be fun, and you can enjoy guiding them through the process. Adopt a Pet Some families choose to adopt a dog or cat to help teach children about … [Read more...]

PreMama Prenatal Vitamin Drink Mix Giveaway!

I've got an awesome Giveaway for you guys.  Please pass this on to someone who can benefit or enter the Free Giveaway Contest for a friend! "Premama is a prenatal vitamin drink complete with key nutrients including DHA, Folic Acid, and Iron. Packed with Ginger, Vitamin B6 and Magnesium to help moms with nausea and digestive relief." Say Bye-Bye to Horse Pills... CLICK HERE TO ENTER TO WIN A FREE 30 DAY SUPPLY of PREMAMA PRENATAL VITAMIN DRINK MIX!! Check out Premama products website to read all about the benefits of this awesome product!  This would be a great start to getting extra healthy if you are thinking about becoming pregnant soon! Premama has excellent reviews from customers and Doctors.  It's 100% natural AND Dysfunctional Dose readers can use Promotion Code: … [Read more...]

Memories of Toddler Torture

Have you ever felt like you were having a day when everyone was trying to piss you off on purpose?  Like no matter where you went or who you ran into, you just happened to end up either in front of or on the phone with someone who was dying to spill diarrhea from their mouth? I had one of those days every day this week. Since it was one of my New Year's Resolutions to call people out when they spew stupidity "CACA" style in front of me, I'm going to say it's safe to give myself a pat on the back here.  Not only am I doing a fantastic job at keeping my News Resolution going strong well into February but, once again I shock myself with the amount of self control I have gained over the years! On a more positive note we had us a birthday in the house this week!  I started out the … [Read more...]

What to Expect When Talking Colleges with Your Teen

Oh yes, I'm sure you guessed it.  That's where I've been the last week.  Discussing Colleges and planning the very near future with my precious eye roller Thing 1. Starting in the 6th grade now our school systems hook these kids up with every piece of information needed to follow the yellow brick road to college.  We went a step above and beyond and started the discussion with Thing 1 on her first day of preschool.  Following the easy step by step guide to future planning I have reminded, begged and even resorted to a little bribery.  I haven't had much luck teaching the concept of time to someone who easily sends 15,000 text messages a month!  UNTIL NOW! I love the fact that Teenagers think they know everything but, the simple fact is if I let go of her hand just a little too soon … [Read more...]