That’s it. I have HAD IT! I have put up with nonsense now for 17 years! It’s about time I stand up to this fat man and let my kids know what a criminal he really is. I put up with entirely too much to let this A*s-hat take the credit for MY blood, sweat, and tears that goes into making December 25th the most magical morning of the year!
It’s about this time in December that I really start to feel the heat. School is out next week. I’m not even half way finished with my shopping and my bank account has been depleted. Hell, I’m not even finished with my decorations yet this year. I’ve been on the fast track to failure all month. My lack of Christmas energy this year is a clear indication that I will be doing my usual wrapping for 48 hours straight right before the big reveal. I’m really hoping I can attend my usual one woman Christmas party with the closet floor to wrap presents instead of being wrapped up in a straight jacket on a 48 hour hold.
A padded room sounds nice right about now. I might even be able to make it work for a vacation. I would sell the credit criminal out today but, I’m so busy it will have to wait. This morning I am off with Thing 3 for more tests that usually require 4 sets of adult muscles. The chance is pretty high I will get my ass kicked because this child is sick and tired of going through hell. How about it big guy? You free to help out with the dirty elf work this morning? Yeah, I didn’t think so. Mommy will be the bad guy and resort to begging, bribing, and eventually “help keep still” my little girl who now needs a Kidney Ultrasound, hip X Ray, and 4-5 more viles of blood.
I’ve cut you enough slack all these years. It’s time you do something that counts. I’ll be the monster today while you take all the credit and then stuff your face with the cookies I made! I’ll let it slide one last time if you grant me one little wish. I haven’t asked for anything in years so, it should be no problem.
You don’t have to bring me anything for the rest of my life if you could just do what you can to bring my kids peace, happiness, and better HEALTH! Screw the easy bake oven. It all tastes like crap! Spread the word and help find treatment for this medical mess my family is in. Thing 2 has now joined in on the fun so if you could pick up the pace that would be really helpful. Collecting poop for the next couple weeks is not really my idea of a magical Christmas but I’m going to do because I have a feeling you probably won’t.
Oh just one more thing. Can you do something about my kid’s sassy mouths? THAT would be magical. If you can do that I will withdraw my charges on you for being the credit burglar!