Have you ever felt like you were having a day when everyone was trying to piss you off on purpose? Like no matter where you went or who you ran into, you just happened to end up either in front of or on the phone with someone who was dying to spill diarrhea from their mouth?
I had one of those days every day this week. Since it was one of my New Year’s Resolutions to call people out when they spew stupidity “CACA” style in front of me, I’m going to say it’s safe to give myself a pat on the back here. Not only am I doing a fantastic job at keeping my News Resolution going strong well into February but, once again I shock myself with the amount of self control I have gained over the years!
On a more positive note we had us a birthday in the house this week! I started out the birthday boys day by jumping up and down on his bed as Thing 3 ran circles around the room while rapping the Happy Birthday beat! Trust me when I say waking him up like this was not only totally called for but, it was necessary. I’m not sure I will EVER get over the way this kid woke me up every morning during his entire toddler years. For several years, he would slither into my room so quietly and so slow he managed to miss every floor board that could possibly creak. Then, he would jump up on the side of my bed and scream bloody murder IN MY FACE. There are no words to explain what your heart will feel like if your child ever does this to you. I could never remember because by the time I caught my breath the only thing I could see was his little Spider-man undies running down the hall as he giggled with glee that he got me again!
Even though Thing 2 turned 12 this year the only thing he talked about all day was that he was almost a teenager. I hope this isn’t an indication that he will follow in his big sisters footsteps and think his sh*t doesn’t stink from that day forward! Seeing that I’ve already done this once my tolerance level isn’t quite as high and I don’t see that plan working out well for him.
Another exciting thing about this week is that Tuesday was 1 year of blog posts for Dysfunctional Dose!
So much has happened in my life this last year it’s hard for even me to keep up! I have no idea how you guys do it. I wish I had more time to write more often because it is always so much fun for me when I do. I have learned so much this last year about myself, my family, and so many of you. I truly am grateful for all the emails, comments, and words of encouragement from each one of you.
Thank you to each one of you for sticking around for the next Dysfunctional Dose story. If you haven’t made yourself comfortable yet please take a peek around and stay a while. I could probably promise under oath that my kids will never stop doing stupid sh*t and I will never be able to shut my big mouth!
So, has anyone else’s child tortured them in the morning hours? Someone please tell me I’m not alone!