The Tooth Fairy and the Elf on the Shelf seem to have a lot on common around here. They’re definitely from the same baby daddy. I don’t know how we keep getting stuck with these lazy asses that take advantage of their already over-extended break. Then, when they finally do show up they only do a half ass job.
Wow, I can’t believe how similar that sounds to what’s going on all around us right now. Maybe it’s contagious. Otherwise why else would my kids have gotten stuck with One Sucky Tooth Fairy AND One Sucky Elf!
I’m thinking today “Fred” needs to spend some quality time in the corner thinking about his lack of pizazz. He was supposed to show up on November 23rd. His happy ass didn’t stroll in until December 10th! That’s downright preposterous. I thought he was trying to make up for lost time when he hung himself from the vacuum. Clearly, he was trying to hint to my kids that if they want to stay on the good kid list they need to help out more.
Well I’ve got news for you Fred. BIG FAT FAIL. The thought never even crossed their minds. If you want to redeem yourself I suggest you try a little harder next time. To prove you are at least trying that would mean you actually have to move spots every night. You gotta keep these kids on their toes. Tricking them can be hard so you’ve got to get creative! FOCUS!!
Thing 2 has been trying to blame Fred’s laziness on me for 2 weeks now. He’s been drilling everyone in the house with questions when they least expect it. He thinks if he catches me off guard my answer might change. I decided the best way to go here was to keep it simple.
Honesty is the best policy.
I gave him a very reasonable explanation to get him off my back.
“As much as I want to spank that little Elf for not giving his job 100% effort I think we should cut him some slack. We don’t know what he’s been through. I think he might have Adhd and I also heard there was a Union Strike in the North Pole!”
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